The Cynic's Party Dictionary

Published : 16/10/2011 13:00:37
Categories : Interesting Party Facts , Party Food and Drinks , Party Themes and Occasions

We've looked in to the definition of 16th October and it would seem that it is Dictionary Day today. This is to celebrate the achievements and contributions of Noah Webster, who is credited as being the father of the modern dictionary. So here we go with a few of our own party themed dictionary definitions:

Party: An event to which you feel obliged to invite a whole lot of people you'd rather not spend time with, spend a whole lot of money you can't afford on a whole lot of food you really shouldn't be eating.

Cocktail: An expensive but slightly more colourful alternative to having your head smashed against a brick wall and a hamster shoved down your throat the following morning.

Balloon: An over inflated bag of hot air which deflates rapidly when actually needed.

Member of Parliament: An over inflated bag of hot air which deflates rapidly when actually needed.

Party Food: Calories wrapped in calories, sprinkled with calories served on a bed of calories and served with calories.

1st Birthday Party: An opportunity for parents to celebrate surviving a full year without sleep or a social life.

18th Birthday Party: The age at which it becomes slightly less fashionable to drink alcohol.

Helium: A gas occasionally wasted by people using it to inflate balloons, but primarily used to help Barry White soundalikes impersonate Joe Pasquale. Table Confetti: Something used to help keep mums busy for a week or two after a party.

39th Birthday Banner: An item used by men at their wife's 40th birthday to increase the chances of getting some that night. Party Popper: A quick, cheap and easy test for detecting high blood pressure and heart problems.

Kids Party: An opportunity to put 20 hyperactive kids in one small room together and feed them sugar.

Share this content

Add a comment

 (with http://)