Things are really looking up this year. That may well be us being optimistic as the year's newness is still apparent, but it might also have something to do with our stock of disposable helium tanks.
We were considering sending these out to people by pigeon, as it seemed reasonable to assume that as helium is lighter than air, the packaging would make the product weight nothing, but that idea went down like a lead balloon. But we are delighted to make available to all our loyal customers a couple of great products for helping you to get high at your next party. As in, your balloons getting high, that is. We don't condone anything stronger than a stiff orange juice or a strong cup of tea of course. First of all, there's our rather nifty disposable helium tank with 50 balloons. That's 50 helium balloons, naturally. You see, we thought about that one. 50 balloons specially designed for helium, (and yes, there is a difference - helium molecules are smaller than your average air molecule, which makes it easier to pass through a membrane, which is why our helium balloons have a specially made membrane which is extra something-or-other-quite-technical-really which makes it difficult for the little helium whatsits to get out. Okay, science bit over.)
But as if that wasn't enough, (and it isn't - we know some of our loyal customers are quite demanding) we have also introduced our special Ultra High Float. Now before you get all disappointed you should absolutely NOT paint yourself all over with this stuff and expect to have a party on the ceilings Mary Poppins' style. You slap it on your balloons. One quick coat and you'll make it virtually impossible for those little helium-whatever-they-ares to get out. In practical terms that simply means your helium balloons will last for a dramatically longer period of time - great for weddings, public displays or other important occasions. We hope this post didn't dazzle you with too much science. It's back to the kazoos and the plastic forks next time, we promise. Think I need a lie down now.